(no subject)
Aug. 13th, 2018 10:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
weesawi can't believe tomorrow is a year since we lost her. i can't believe it's been a year since she laughed, since she smiled, since she made this world a little bit brighter and a little bit louder.
will i ever stop thinking "i was going to see her in TWO WEEKS. two fucking weeks! and instead i never get to see her again"? nothing short of death could have kept her from coming to con.
i took for granted that she would always be there, because i couldn't fathom a world in which she wouldn't be there. i never told her how much i loved her, how i loved how loud she was, how you couldn't ignore her, how she made everything an adventure. how right from the first time i met her i felt like we had been friends forever and would continue to be friends forever. her enthusiasm was always so contagious.
i im her sometimes, to tell her how much this sucks, as though she is unaware. i know wherever she is, she is just as angry and sad and missing us. i hope she watched us on that roof last year, getting drunk and talking about how amazing she was and singing gay pirates at the top of our lungs. i hope she sang along.
will i ever stop thinking "i was going to see her in TWO WEEKS. two fucking weeks! and instead i never get to see her again"? nothing short of death could have kept her from coming to con.
i took for granted that she would always be there, because i couldn't fathom a world in which she wouldn't be there. i never told her how much i loved her, how i loved how loud she was, how you couldn't ignore her, how she made everything an adventure. how right from the first time i met her i felt like we had been friends forever and would continue to be friends forever. her enthusiasm was always so contagious.
i im her sometimes, to tell her how much this sucks, as though she is unaware. i know wherever she is, she is just as angry and sad and missing us. i hope she watched us on that roof last year, getting drunk and talking about how amazing she was and singing gay pirates at the top of our lungs. i hope she sang along.
